Dear Dr. Charley:

I just became intimate with my boyfriend. Though I really enjoyed our first time, it felt like we were in a marathon session. Not because he was quick but because he lasted forever. It would have been great but after a while I started to experience dryness and discomfort. Is there a way to reduce my discomfort?

Betty
Memphis, TN

Dear Betty:
Men often try to impress you with their stamina the first time out. They’d rather be taught of as “greedy” than “the minute man”. Some will take performance enhancement drugs such as Viagra. If you have held out for a few months, they may also feel it’ll be a while before they get it again and thus try to stock up, so to speak. Reassure him of your desire and that this will not be the only time you are intimate. Share your desires and needs and next time will turn out much better.   As for pain during intercourse, there are several situations that could account for your irritation. To begin with, ensuring sufficient lubrication is paramount. Marathon lovemaking sessions are great; however, artificial lube may be necessary.

For a lover who lasts a long time, using a silicone-based lubricants will help with the friction. Silicone-based lubes also last longer and don’t break down as quickly as water-based ones. Just be careful using silicone lubes in the shower or hot tub as they can be slippery. Another possibility could be an allergic reaction to the latex of the condom. A lot of women don’t realize they are allergic to latex since most males don’t last long enough for them to notice. And some women and men are irritated by the lubricant that’s on the condom itself. If you notice irritation about five to ten minutes into intercourse and you’re sufficiently lubricated, then it’s probably a reaction to the latex or lubricant. Switch to a polyurethane condom such as Avanti. If the condition persists, see your physician.

Live with passion,