Dear Dr. Charley:

I’m dating a new guy and we were recently intimate for the first time. It was amazing; but he lasted forever. I guess normally this is a good thing, but it was like hours on end. This is what some women dream of, but, honestly, after a while, it just started to hurt. I enjoyed it, but I’m looking for ways to reduce the friction next time we sleep together. I also want to let him know that I don’t need him to go for hours in order to feel satisfied. Do you have any pointers?

Thanks,

Hurting in Houston

Dear Hurting in Houston:

Many younger men will try to prove they can go for hours in an effort to impress you. Talk to your lover. Let him know what you like and what turns you on most. Communicating with your lover always leads to satisfaction.

As for pain during intercourse, there are several situations that could account for your irritation. To begin with, ensuring sufficient lubrication is paramount. Marathon lovemaking sessions are great; however, artificial lube may be necessary. For a lover who lasts a long time, using a silicone-based lubricants will help with the friction. Silicone-based lubes also last longer and don’t break down as quickly as water-based ones. Just be careful using silicone lubes in the shower or hot tub as they can be slippery.

Another possibility could be an allergic reaction to the latex of the condom. A lot of women don’t realize they are allergic to latex since most males don’t last long enough for them to notice. If you notice irritation about five to ten minutes into intercourse and you’re sufficiently lubricated, then it’s probably a latex allergy. Switch to a polyurethane condom such as Avanti.