If you’re not having fun you’re doing it wrong!
Making love, having sex, being wild and adventurous should never be boring nor overshadowed by fear. As an adult, it’s your right to enjoy your sexuality to its fullest in whatever manner you deem appropriate. If you find yourself unsure or apprehensive about having sex because of the risks of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, you are not alone. Many men and women worry. It’s when we don’t that we overlook our health and safety and fail to take precautions. As an adult you have the right to claim your sensual and sexual divinity. Never allow anyone to take that away from you. You don’t have to deny yourself the pleasures of being sexual merely because you want to ensure to protect yourself against unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections; all you need is a little pre-planning, some creativity, a dash of courage and you’re all set to sharing the most erotic and deliciously fulfilling lovemaking with your partner. Below are four great tips to get you started.
Tip #1: The Decision: It doesn’t matter what you plan to do, where you plan to do it, how you plan to engage in it, or whom you plan to share it with, the first thing you need to do is make a decision. Do you plan to be sexual or not? Do you plan to embrace your sensual and sexual nature, or not? If your answer is “no”, then you don’t needed to read further. However, if the answer is an exuberant “yes” or a shy “maybe in the future” then taking these steps will help you derive the greatest satisfaction from your sex life.
Tip #2: Learn about sex. Everything we want to be good at in life takes a bit of learning; from walking, to learning your multiplication tables, and my favorite learning to cook “arroz con dulcie”. It’s all about discovering something new! Sex is no different. And sex that fills you with tremendous pleasure and satisfaction making you giggle and smile days later as you remember starts with your mind. There are lots of great books available to teach you about the joys of sex; everything from technical explanations to emotional connections, spiritual awakenings, and making relationships better. However, reading a relationships book is not the same as reading a “how-to” have sex book that explains the “in’s and out’s”. (Chuckles—pun not intended.) Let’s forego for now the more elaborate position books, most people can’t even get into three of those positions much less bend in those positions. Just keep it simple to begin with. Lovemaking is about having fun. If you’re frustrated about trying to get into position and staying in it, you’re not having fun and you’ll get turned off—not to mention your partner won’t enjoy themselves either. One book to review is The Latina Kama Sutra: The Ultimate Guide to Dating Sex and Erotic Pleasures, which provides you with seven basic sexual positions, everyone can enjoy regardless of physical abilities or weight. Also watch videos alone or with your partner. Learn from the videos, see what works for you. Keep what you like and discard the rest.
Tip #3: Communication: Communicating your desires is the key to greater intimacy and pleasure. Not only is it erotic to hear what your lover wants to do to you but what they want done to themselves. Yes, sharing your desires does make you feel vulnerable at times; however, if you don’t trust the person your with to accept all of you, how can you possibly achieve the level of connection and surrender that you’ve always dreamed of with someone you love. This lack of open communication is what causes infidelity in relationships. The way I see it: if your partner rejects you because you want to have sex while you wear pink socks, or are blindfolded, or want to be adventurous or silly, then that’s not the person for you and so long as he/she is in your life, your prince/princess cannot enter; thus, get rid of the Frog. Yes, often times you compromise in relationships and not everything is about sex. However, if your sex life flounders so does your relationship thus it’s imperative you share honestly and openly. Besides, your lover may have been worried that you’d reject him because he wanted to try something new but didn’t know how to address it.
Tip #4 Mind-Pleasures. The brain is the most erotic zone in your body and Mind-Pleasures is another tool to use to derive the greatest satisfaction from your relationship. Mind-Pleasures is very easy. First you choose who’s going to share first—for this example I’ll use you as the facilitator. Sit in a comfortable position with your partner in front of you; ensure to get pillows to rest against. Wrap your arms around him. Let your bodies rest against each other and get accustomed to breathing together; this takes just a few minutes. You can have instrumental music (you don’t want music with words during Mind-Pleasures as that’ll merely distract you.) Candles add a romantic touch. When you’re ready whisper into his ear one of your fantasies or a story you found erotic. Allow yourself to be the erotic story teller. Make it more real by describing how your body or his would feel; those tingling sensations, etc. It’s ok to get explicit. Kiss and nibble if you wish and allow your hands to caress him where you can reach or let him caress himself as you hold him. By the time your story is over, there will have been a lot of moans and perhaps a delicious release. As an added treat, you can use one of the fantasies or desires he shared with you and use Mind-Pleasures to make it come true for him, if only mentally for the moment. You’ll both reap the rewards. Next time, it can be your turn to be the one held.
Sign up for 365-Days of Love & Sex Tips
Discover the Love you’ve been waiting for