The beauty of an orgasm is that it can occur anywhere on your body, anytime, for any reason. Instead of trying to regulate them…embrace them.
Discover the 7-Easy Steps to achieve mind blowing orgasms every time!
One: Body Letter
Write yourself a “Body Letter”. Give yourself permission to be orgasmic. Consciously accept yourself as a sensual and sexual woman. Acknowledge your body and its physical needs. Encourage your Body to respond to you how you can best achieve your ultimate pleasures.
Two: Re-invent your Sexual Attitude
As women, we’ve been told for years, decades, that sex is bad and we were whores if we enjoyed it. End that thinking now! Release the guilt and shame of what you’ve been taught, of past experiences, and reclaim your sensual and sexual divinity. The rules of childhood no longer apply to you. You’re a woman now. You make the choices in your life. You decide when, where and with whom! Trust your choices. They may not always turn out the way you expected; hell, we all make mistakes. No biggie. Shake it off and move on. Enjoy your sexual freedom.
Three: Train Him!
Nothing is worst than a bad lover except perhaps one who doesn’t share with their partner what they desire. He can’t read your mind. Train him! Guide him. Share with him what you desire and how you like it. Point him in the right direction if he can’t figure it out. If you’re too bashful to say the words, use videos, books, even song lyrics to help him learn what excites you. Allow him be the kind of lover he wants to be for you.
Even Casanova learned from someone!
Talk dirty to him. Tell him how badly you want that big hard…what do you call it?…inside you and where it would fit best. It’s ok, you’re a big girl. The worse he can do is spank you for talking dirty; and well, you might enjoy that. Encourage him to do the same. Who knows, you might enjoy spanking him.
It’s impossible to know what you truly enjoy unless you explore. Sexplore. Discover your body. Touch it. Learn whether a light touch or a hard touch feels best—and where. Incorporate adult toys. Nothing is taboo. Tease yourself. Notice where all the erogenous zones are in your body that you may later guide your lover’s hands or mouth to them. Discover how many times you can make yourself orgasm. Every woman can be multi-orgasmic. Give yourself permission! Invite your lover to Sexplore with you. Let his fingers do the walking from time to time. Giggle. Blush. Moan. I guarantee he’ll enjoy that too.
Five: Join a Class
Believe it or not, there are classes available which teach you to be orgasmic. Find them in your area or join the one I teach or read my book, The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman.
Raise your level of understanding and knowledge where your body is concerned. Do you know what female ejaculation is? What are the various stages of sexual arousal? Are you affected by misconceptions and taboos? Joining a class or seeking private coaching will enable you to embrace your full orgasmic potential and enhance what you already experience. There’s no such thing as “enough” knowledge where pleasure is concerned. Like anything else in life you want to get great at, discover, practice, and find a teacher (Sex Therapist) to derive all you can.
Six: Anywhere is fine
Freud was wrong! An orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. Who cares if it’s a vaginal orgasm, oral orgasm, or one achieved through self stimulation? The fact is you got your cookies off. Discover all your erogenous zones. You can be orgasmic from someone nibbling your toes, biting your neck, teasing your breasts or other places, even from kissing. The list is endless.
What’s on your list?
Each orgasm may feel different and vary in its intensity. That’s the beauty of an orgasm. Like snow flakes, no two are ever the same
When you lose your focus, you lose your orgasm!
Most women lose their orgasm because they lose their focus. They’re in their heads instead of their body. They worry about their partner’s opinion on their love handles, or about how wild they are in bed instead of focusing on the pleasure they’re receiving.
When this happens to you, refocus your attention. Notice where his hands are on your body. Focus on the feel of his breath against your flesh. Allow yourself to enjoy each thrust, the moans he makes, and his words of passion.
Whenever you feel yourself losing desire and getting distracted, give yourself permission to orgasm, to enjoy the sexual encounter. Exaggerate your movements. Verbally acknowledge where his hands are on your body and speak out loud what his movements make you feel. Share your need. Tell him what you want to do to him in return. Put yourself back in the moment of pleasure and allow yourself to enjoy it. No need to rush, he’s enjoying himself too.