BDSM Checklist for Writers
The thing to remember about the BDSM Checklist for Writers is that anything and everything can be added to it. From domestic activities (such as cooking and cleaning), to fetishes, to sexual activities, and service oriented issues. The list is forever expanding as you and your relationship grows—as your character’s relationship grows. As the Master/Mistress, you can add what’s most important to you. The things you don’t desire should remain on the list since it allows the submissive/slave to know what’s not acceptable.
I recommend completing a new BDSM Checklist for Writers for every significant character in your novel and a different one if you’re writing a second novel with the same characters as you will find dramatic changes in behavior and tolerance. Plus it may give you ideas to further your character development, scenes, even possible plot changes. And of course, things the submissive/slave doesn’t like are wonderful tools to use when Punishing them.
Yes, as someone pointed out you can obtain a BDSM Checklist almost anywhere. However, I created this one specifically for writers to help give you ideas on what’s possible and what categories and activities are available.
More importantly, it is the secrets I reveal to you based on the individual’s (your character’s) ANSWERS on the checklist. What they like. What they hate. What they’ll do only if forced. This is where the psyche of your character is. Understanding this is what will lead you to your hero or heroine’s desires even your villains and help build your story’s plot. You can even start with completing the checklist for your protagonists and build your story from there.
So let’s begin…
The BDSM Checklist for Writers I’ve created provides a place to note any medical issues, phobias, or physical limitations which will greatly affect how an individual—whether Dominant or submissive/slave—will be able to interact with others. For instance, if the slave has diabetes or circulatory problems, bondage is something you want to keep a close eye on to ensure there are no blood flow restrictions due to prolonged periods of Bondage; something that can become life threatening or result in serious physical and medical consequences.
My personal favorite question in the BDSM Checklist for Writers is the question of “Force”. This is a major psychological and emotional window into the individual. Would the submissive/slave accept any activity he/she previously stated as a “Limit” if “Force” was involved. You might find that given a choice the individual would set a Limit for themselves out of their cultural or societal norms; however, they would leave it up to their Master’s/Mistress’ discretion and feel comfortable with the activity because they “had no choice” and they would do it only to “please their Master”.
Force is a major turn-on!
What a slave/sub won’t do willingly by choice, they would do if required or “forced” to do so by their Master or Mistress. It’s that little voice inside saying, “I had no choice in the matter, Master or Mistress, forced me to…”
It’s literally a free pass into being naughty—slutty—a whore! The use of force gives the slave/sub the ability to overcome their bias, fears, and societal norms and surrender completely. It’s like saying, “The Devil made me do it.” And we all know that makes being “bad” deliciously sweeter. Plus, it’s a wonderful excuse…isn’t it?
I’ve also broken down the BDSM Checklist for Writers into various types of activities, to include not only what they’ve experienced and what they’d like to experience but also the various categories of activities which include: service, physical, sexual, Edge Play and Force. Each activity can be further broken down into specifics; however that would make this BDSM Checklist at least 10 to 20 pages long. For example: service can be alone or with others present; for the Master or for someone designated by the Master; in uniform or naked. Sex can be further broken down by using protection such as condoms, with designated individuals, with strangers, as well as in public or private. Remember, that the individual may be willing to behave a certain way in private surrendering to the Master/Mistress however in public the individual would buck at such behavior. Therefore I’ll merely add a blank page for you to be more specific and/or add anything else you’d like.
Below are a few examples to get you started in understanding the vast dynamics disclosed from a simple BDSM Checklist and the importance of information you can gain from it.
Example of a slave’s responses on BDSM Checklist for Writers
(This is an excerpt from Chapter 10 of my book, BDSM for Writers.)
Character Name: Zachary BDSM Identity: slave
Date: December 10, 2010 Initial List: Yes
Limits: Monogamy –no same sex contacts –condom sex only
Medical conditions: Right knee surgery September 5, 2010 can’t kneel long periods, Asthma_
Emergency contacts/measures needed: _Use Inhaler if I experience an Asthma attack._
Phobias: terrified of dogs__________________________________
Other issues: none_______________________________________
Rating:
1. Love it
2. Hate it
3. Want to try
4. It’s ok—Take it/Leave it
5. Force (will accept if desired/forced by Master/Mistress)
6. Need Modifications (Explain)
7. Never/again—Hard Limit
Have Experienced Want to Experience
| Activity | Giving | Receiving | Yes | No | Rate | Giving | Receiving | Yes | No | Rate | |
| Massage | X | X | X | 1 | X | X | X | 1 | |||
| Spanking | X | X | 2 | X | X | 2 | |||||
| WhipsSingle-tail | X | 1 | X | X | 1 | ||||||
| Kneeling | X | X | 1 | X | X | 5/6 | |||||
| Anal Sex | X | X | 1 | X | X | 1 | |||||
| Same Gender Sex | X | 5 | X | 5 | |||||||
| ServingMaid/butler | X | X | 1 | X | X | 1 | |||||
| Crossdressing | X | 7 | X | 7 | |||||||
Explanations to items noted above needing modifications:
- Kneeling: i will kneel as Mistress/Master requires. i humble ask that i be allowed to use a pillow as it is difficult to kneel for periods longer than one hour.
- Inhale: my Inhaler is in my coat pocket. If I have difficulty breathing, giving me_ two puffs will alleviate the problem.
Let’s take a look at Zachary’s list. He identifies as a slave and it’s understood most of what he has experienced or will experience will be at the direction/discretion of his Master/Mistress. And though he stated no “same sex contact”, this doesn’t mean he wouldn’t submit to a male Dominant or engage in sexual activities with him since he also indicated that he wanted to experience same sex activities if #5—Forced.
Zachary is service oriented and loves giving massages and serving as butler. We can also assume that he is versed with the typical protocols of a slave such as kneeling before his Master/Mistress. We also immediately note what his Limits as well as his phobias are, yet more importantly, that he has had surgery and he has Asthma which requires an Inhaler. Therefore, the Dominant should ensure that before any interactions are engaged in, She/He knows where that Inhaler is. It would also be good to have an extra one designated only for the Play Room or in the Toy Bag to ensure it’s always handy as this is a matter of life and death.
Knowing whether the slave/sub likes an activity or not will give you some insight into his level of surrender and whether he’s an alpha slave or needs a strict hand. The fact that Zachary “loves” kneeling shows he enjoys showing his Master/Mistress respect and surrendering completely. However as you can see, he also stated he would allow his Master/Mistress to “Force” him to kneel.
Though at first this may be confusing, it’s really not when you take into consideration the fact that he’s had surgery on his right knee and this can cause physical pain and even re-injury depending on how far into his recovery he is. You’ll also notice that he stated he would Want to Experience if #5—Forced with #6—Modificiations. At the bottom of the checklist he stipulated what these modifications were. And if they’re not there, the Dominant can include them as she/he reviews the checklist with Zachery and makes her/his own notations.
It should be noted that most slaves will want to please their Master or Mistress and will endure pain and discomfort. However it is the Master or Mistress’ responsibility to keep the slave’s wellbeing upper most in mind and deny them this ability until it will not cause them harm.
An ethical Master or Mistress would forego his kneeling until recovery was complete and provide him with an alternative to kneeling such as standing with his head bowed and his hands behind his back. Or if kneeling causes only minor discomfort, the Master/Mistress may choose to “force” him to do so while providing a pillow for him on which to kneel and limiting the time spent kneeling.
For example: 10 minutes instead of half hour. Modifications can also be made to the kneeling position as he can be allowed to lean back and rest on his feet instead which would take the strain off the knee as opposed to kneeling straight up which puts all the pressure directly on the knees itself. And there are knee pads which the slave can wear which will minimize/eliminate the pressure to the knee. (These knee pads are the same worn by tile installers and rescue workers and can be purchase for $20 or so at most hardware stores or sporting goods stores.)
As we continue our review of Zachary’s character based on his responses, you’ll notice the BDSM Checklist for Writers shows that Zachary #2—hates Spankings and would tolerate them at his Master/Mistress’ choice.
This is wonderful information to know as you now have a tool to use when administering Punishment or should you decide to torture/torment him in a Scene just for your Sadistic pleasure. When you limit yourself to using the things he hates to Punishment it reinforces your control as he would be unlikely to transgress in such a manner again any time in the near future. And the Spanking (the activity he hates) becomes one which he’ll associate with humiliation thus further reinforcing your Dominant character’s control.
It’s also important to know what activities he’s experienced from the position of giving as opposed to receiving. Not only will this tell you whether or not his inclinations are those of a Dominant/Switch/slave/sub but also what his role has been in the process. For instance, Zachary states he has experienced “giving” anal sex and loves it. However he has not experienced it himself as “receiving” was blank, but he would like to experience “receiving”.
An important discovery here into his psyche is that he Rated the activity of Want to Experience “receiving” as #1—Love it. This reveals that he has fantasized about receiving anal sex and “loves” the idea. Therefore, he would be receptive to the same. Now don’t forget, just because you love something in theory/fantasy doesn’t mean he’ll enjoy it after trying it. His next BDSM Checklist might reflect that he’s experienced receiving anal sex and hated it and even placed it on his limits list.
If we continue along the anal sex path, connecting what we already know about Zachary with what else is possible, you find that he has never experienced same gender sex but is willing to try the same if #5—Forced. This opens the door to many erotically enticing scenes and ways to mentally torment him or excite him with the idea.
More importantly, the fact that he would accept it if forced states two things: (1) he would surrender all to his Master or Mistress; and (2) he wants to be able to bypass the guilt associated with the activity. And though you notice in the “Limits” section that he stated “no same sex contacts”, he also stated he’d want to experience it if forced. Thus, something to discuss beforehand. This is an excellent example of consensual non-consensuality.
As we continue with our review, you’ll notice one of his #7—Hard Limits is Crossdressing. This Hard Limit is something which is honored. You can tease him about it, but never cross the line or you’ll destroy trust and of course it stops being consensual and crosses into abuse.
As you review the BDSM Checklist for Writers for the slave/submissive, you’ll want to notice if the individual is leaving every decision up to the Master/Mistress. This can be a sign of complete surrender which is wonderful; however, it can also be a sign of someone who wants to take no responsibility for their actions and these slave/subs will become a source of frustration to the Master/Mistress. Though it’s great to have a slave who surrenders completely, it’s boring to have one that gives you no input and thus doesn’t give you the feedback you need to “Push Against” to challenge you to be a better Dominant and/or give you that thrill of having really pushed your slave/submissive into another level of physical/sexual surrender.
As you can see, there is much more to D/s and the BDSM Checklist then just saying yes and no. There are so many emotional and psychological nuances which occur.
I hope that as your write your books, you’ll not only write an amazing story but be respectful of this unique community and sexual identity as well.
Assignment:
Read Chapter 10 of BDSM for Writers.
Click here for your Complimentary BDSM Checklist.
Feel free to ask any other questions you may have based on the material covered thus far.
Send your assignment responses and comments to eCourse@doctorcharley.com
Your assignments, questions, and comments will be reviewed and responded to within normal business hours Monday through Friday. You do not need to wait for a response before moving on to the next lesson.
If you need immediate assistance, please feel free to contact me directly at the number listed below. I am available Monday thru Friday 1:00 to 9:00 p.m. EST.
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