Protocols & Rituals

The natural progression of training a slave or submissive is that when he or she enters into the relationship he or she is trained in the Protocols and Rituals of their Master or Mistress. Once these protocols and rituals are provided, the submissive is required to adhere to them. If the submissive does not, he or she is corrected, punished and finally dismissed if all else failed to correct the situation and elicit the desired behavior. Let’s break this down a little further for you to follow the concepts of each phase in training a slave.

Protocols:
As with any other relationship there are established rules and guidelines which need to be adhered to. The major difference between a vanilla relationship and a BDSM one is that the guidelines which govern how an individual is to behave while in the relationship, what is acceptable, and what will not be tolerated, are hashed out and negotiated at the beginning and reinforced, expanded upon and changed as time goes on. Whereas, in a vanilla relationship it’s assumed that each individual knows how to behave and knows what is expected of them so that when they go against what their partner expected fights ensue or the excuse of “I didn’t know” is used.

In a BDSM relationship, the guidelines and requirements are established prior to commencement of the relationship and are achieved by way of Protocols and Rituals enforced by corrective action, punishment if necessary, and finally dismissal if all corrective measures failed to rectify the situation.

Protocols are a set of guidelines established by the Master or Mistress for the submissive and slave to follow to help them know what is required and how they are expected to conduct themselves and perform given tasks. The protocols may be elaborate or simple. The purpose of the protocol is to reinforce the submissive and slave’s position in the Master or Mistress’ life every time they perform the act. It gives the submissive a sense of belonging and accomplishment they may not otherwise have in their vanilla life. In case you’re wondering, the submissive can also request a specific protocol or create a Ritual which makes them feel comfortable or safe and share this with their Master or Mistress having it formally incorporated into their actions when serving.

Below are a few examples of kneeling protocols for a slave to conduct when in the presence of his Master or Mistress:

Kneeling straight up to show respect with his hands at the small of his back and his eyes straight ahead or downcast is the common form of presentation and shows respect. The slave may be allowed to rest on his heels with his palms on his thighs awaiting the next command from his Master or Mistress.

Another position can find the slave kneeling supine, his body resting on the floor, arms outstretched as if bowing before a Queen and awaiting her next command.

Some submissive are allowed to stand instead of kneel especially if in a public Dungeon or at an outdoor event, or if the slave has knee problems. Under these circumstances, the submissive may be required to stand in accordance with a prescribed protocol. This may be to stand at attention or Parade Rest as they do in the military while in the Dominant’s presence.

Parade Rest is where the submissive stands with their arms behind their back, their legs shoulder width apart, their head held high looking straight ahead. You may consider this the slave’s “ready position” as he quietly waits to be of service—standing silently in the background until he is called for.

Some Dominants institute eye contact restrictions protocols. This is where the slave is required to never look the Dominant in the eyes. This protocol reinforces the hierarchical mindset of BDSM. A submissive or slave would then be corrected or punished if he or she fails to adhere to it.

The list of possible protocols is endless and each Master and Mistress tailors the protocol to what they require of their submissive adding their own flair to any activity.

Rituals:
On top of protocols are Rituals. Rituals are established either separate from or in conjunction with particular protocols. For example one ritual may be that when the submissive or slave returns home from work, he or she is required to bath, consciously and metaphorically washing away their vanilla persona then kneeling naked in a designated area. During this time of quiet reflection, the slave reorients himself to the life they have chosen with their Master or Mistress and also release their outside worries and stressors. Once the designated time has passed or the slave feels they are ready, he would rise and go about his duties in the household and present himself to his Master or Mistress as per the established protocols.

Another ritual can govern the way the slave offers themselves for use prior to engaging in BDSM activities with their Dominant whether in private or in public.

Below is an example of a ritual a Dominant woman created for her slave which is used when they engage in public Play.

The ritual begins with the slave preparing the area for them to use. The slave lays out a red lap blanket on the floor where she’s designated they will conduct their scene. This serves to establish a boundary for onlookers not to cross. The slave then sets out the toys from her BDSM toy bag. Once that’s accomplished, he places a chair for her to sit on directly across from where he’ll kneel to allow her to observe him for as long as she desires. As he is preparing the area, he is focusing his mind to their upcoming interaction, preparing himself mentally and shutting out other thoughts from his mind. Once the scene area is ready, he undresses completely and kneels on the blanket, closes his eyes centering himself and focusing on being of service to his Mistress in any manner she desires of him. The slave may be embarrassed and feel vulnerable to be so exposed before others as he awaits his Master’s dictates yet he does so anyway as he knows it brings her pleasure to have him so exposed.

Note: Master is a universal term and some women use it as opposed to being called Mistress which carries with it a “vanilla” negative connotation.

As the Dominant sits in the chair, she is able to observe her slave’s diligence and attention to detail. In a way, she too is preparing herself for the scene to come. The ritual continues when the Dominant joins him on the blanket. She strokes his hair and reassures him of her presence. Before she binds him, she raises his face so he may look into her eyes, brushes his lips with hers, nibbles his lower lip and tells him how pleased she is by his efforts. She then kisses his wrists before she places each wrist in leather cuffs which she then connects to the chains attached to the ceiling beam overhead.

This is a sweet sensual ritual for this couple. Not all rituals have to be sensual, some are pragmatic others are forceful. Everyone’s protocols and rituals vary and are unique to them. You can put any twist you desire to them.

The only thing the Dominant has to keep in mind is that He or She is responsible for reinforcing these protocols and rituals. If the Dominant isn’t willing to put the effort into upholding them, they shouldn’t be established as it’ll create bad habits in the submissive and make the submissive wonder about the level of dominance they are actually receiving and if their Master or Mistress cares about them and/or the relationship.

As I mentioned in the eCourse BDSM for Writers — The Basics, the submissive will often test their Master or Mistress and purposely mix up the protocols or rituals, or perhaps not adhere to them, to see if their “naughty” behavior will be corrected. This test isn’t done out of childishness, disrespect, nor malicious intent but in an effort to reassure themselves that their Master and Mistress values them enough to care that they’re doing a good job in following the established rules of the household and that the Dominant is willing to punish them when they are not.

Assignment:
Read Chapter 7 in BDSM for Writers:  Training a slave — Protocols, Rituals and Corrective Measures.

Feel free to ask any questions you may have about protocols and rituals before we move on to discussing Corrective Measures. Also, be sure to ask any questions you may have based on the material covered thus far.

If you wish to discuss how to create them or want to see if one you want to implement is realistic, please share it with me.  Remember, you can create any protocol or ritual you want, fun, silly, heartfelt, spiritual etc.  However, don’t forget it is always the Dominant’s responsibility to enforce it. And believe it or not if the Dominant does the ritual wrong or forgets a step, the submissive will “correct” the Dominant (respectfully of course). After all, these rituals aren’t just for fun, they are sacred and a way for the submissive to reaffirm their commitment to their Owner and the Dominant to reaffirm their position in their slave’s life.

Feel free to ask questions and share your experiences. Be sure to ask any questions you may have based on the material covered thus far.

Send your assignment responses and comments to eCourse@doctorcharley.com

Your assignments, questions, and comments will be reviewed and responded to within normal business hours Monday through Friday. You do not need to wait for a response before moving on to the next lesson.

If you need immediate assistance, please feel free to contact me directly at the number listed below. I am available Monday thru Friday 1:00 to 9:00 p.m. EST.

 

Click here for the next Lesson 3

 

 

Special Offer

BDSM Writers Con is for everyone interested in writing about or exploring the world of Dominance and submission.

Over 40 hours of workshops and LIVE Demos, a BDSM Club Night, Award Ceremony, Mix and Mingles with your favorite BDSM authors and more. August in New York City. Learn more at BDSM Writers Con

Save $50 discount for being an eCourse member use code: STUDENT

 

Special Offer

Private BDSM Teleseminar & Group Forum

$30 monthly

Join me to discuss your questions and concerns in this candid weekly Teleseminar. No topic is taboo! Chat with other group members in our private FB group forum Register here

 

Dr. Charley Ferrer
America’s BDSM Expert
718-916-4124

www.doctorcharley.com
www.bdsmforwriters.com
www.bdsmthenakedtruth.com
www.bdsmwriterscon.com

Twitter: @doctorcharley.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/doctorcharley

Youtube: www.youtube.com/doctorcharley

Copyright 2011 Dr. Charley Ferrer
All information in this eCourse is the intellectual property of Dr. Charley Ferrer. No portion of this eCourse can be used or forwarded to others without the expressed written permission from Dr. Charley Ferrer.