eCourse — BDSM Introduction
Created by
Dr. Charley Ferrer
Hello & Welcome
Thank you for signing up for my eCourse: BDSM Introduction.
With your order you should have received a link to download your FREE copy of BDSM The Naked Truth. You will need this book for your reading assignments. If for some reason you are unable to download the book, please contact me immediately.
This eCourse is comprised of eight lesson plans. Each lesson will provide you with questions to consider as well as reading assignments.
You can go at your own place. At the end of each Lesson is a link for the next Lesson in the eCourse.
Send the answers to your assignments and any questions you may have to me at: eCourse@doctorcharley.com. I will respond to your questions and provide feedback immediately. You will typically hear from me within 24-48 hours during normal business hours or sooner. Be sure to note: “eCourse Student” in the subject line of your email to be sent to the top of my to-do list. smiles.
If you need an immediate response, please call me directly at 718-916-4124.
Syllabus for eCourse — BDSM Introduction
Lesson #1 Introduction — Welcome
Lesson #2 Definitions & Personality Traits (Part I)
Lesson #3 Definitions & Personality Traits (Part II)
Lesson #4 The Dominant
Lesson #5 The submissive
Lesson #6 Oh those deliciously wicked things we do!
Lesson #7 The BDSM Checklist
Lesson #8 Parting is such sweet sorrow
eCourse — BDSM Introduction was created by Dr. Charley Ferrer
eCourse Introduction
This workshop is designed to teach you the basics about BDSM and Dominance/submission as well as the various Power Exchange relationships. It’s my hope that with this understanding, you will be able to find a greater understanding into this world and the information dispels some of the misconceptions and taboos associated with it.
I have arranged this eCourse to provide you with as much information as possible without overwhelming you with the vast complexities of the BDSM lifestyle. Excerpts from my book, BDSM The Naked Truth have been added in some of the lesson plans. To gain the most value from this eCourse, be sure to complete the reading assignments each week and answer the questions posed. Completing these assignments will provide you with a better understanding of the dynamics and nuances of the world of Dominance and submission.
This is a self-paced eCourse. Once you have completed your reading and writing assignments, you can move on to the next lesson. At the bottom of each page you will be provided with a link to the next lesson plan.
Though we will not have the ability to discuss every facet of the BDSM lifestyle in the short time we have, and realistically, it could take years for an individual to fully comprehend all facets of this unique lifestyle, I will provide you the BASICS expanding your awareness and understanding.
I’m a firm believer in providing as much information as possible. Feel free to ask questions as we go along.
Please take a moment introduce yourself and let me know what , if any, experience you have with the BDSM community. Have you spoken to others within the D/s community, have you attended any Munchies, do you participate in online discussion groups or chat groups? This information will allow me to fine tune the eCourse toward your specific needs.
A little about Dr. Charley Ferrer:
I am a world renowned Clinical Sexologist, BDSM Expert and Mentor. I’m the award winning author of thirteen books on relationships, sexuality, and self-empowerment. I’ve been active in the BDSM community for almost twenty years. I conduct workshops both live and online to help writers (and the general public) understand the nuances of Dominance and submission, as well as, embrace their own sensual divinity. My motto is “World Peace through Sex.”
Yes, I realize that sounds a little “slutty” (chuckles). To elaborate, I believe that if everyone was happy in their relationships, they’d be too happy to fight or enter into armed conflicts with others. I’ve lectured throughout the US, Latin America, and recently China on sexual health and sex reform. In March 2013, I was the only American Latina to present a lecture on Dominance and submission during the first congress open to foreign nationals in Hangzhou China before the Chinese Sexology Association. It is my desire to bring education and understand to this highly misrepresented lifestyle.
I look forward to helping you in your desire to enhance your knowledge. I believe no question is taboo, thus feel free to ask anything you wish to know about the topic.
eCourse — BDSM Introduction was created by Dr. Charley Ferrer
Lesson #1
WHAT IS BDSM?
It’s important to understand what BDSM actually stands for. BDSM is an acronym for Bondage, Disciple, Sadomasochism. It is an umbrella that identifies power exchange relationships which have as its foundation an aspect of Dominance and submission. Individuals who embrace a Master/slave relationship do not necessarily consider themselves part of the BDSM mentality however do consider themselves part of the BDSM community as a whole.
The fact is that there are various levels of BDSM as there are people who participate in its activities. From the pleasure seeker who wants a little kink with his sex before he runs home to his wife/girlfriend, to the adrenaline junkie (major masochist) who wants to push himself as far as he or she can go. Think of this personality in vanilla terms as those individuals who are into extreme sports. There are those that actually embrace Dominance and submission as a way of life and those who embrace a Master/slave relationships and live it 24/7. And we haven’t even discussed the subset that follows Gorean beliefs. Wow, talk about totally different. (No one ever mentions them. In this course, we will not discuss Gorean beliefs as they are based on the fictions novel, Chronicles of Gor, written by John Norman.)
Contrary to popular belief, BDSM is not merely about whips and chains. In many instances, toys are never used as the individuals, both Dominant and submissive, are interested in “service” or in a spiritual and/or emotional connection as opposed to a physical relationship.
It’s important to keep in mind that some Dominants do not use impact toys (whips, floggers, paddles, etc.) to enforce their dominance but use a psychological impact—even Fear Play—never once laying a hand on the submissive. There are also those Dominants (Masters and Mistresses) who use humiliation and behavioral control in lieu of physical interactions.
And still other relationship dynamics where there is no sexual contact involved.
I’m sure you are starting to realize just how intricate and diverse the world of Dominance and submission truly is. Throughout this eCourse we will continue to address the various nuances within the various power exchange relationships. Plus I will provide you with valuable tidbits about the D/s community to help you become more acquainted with this uniquely diverse lifestyle.
There is saying within the D/s community that the submissive has the “greater control” in a BDSM relationship. This adage is frequently misunderstood by novice and the vanilla community. It is not that the submissive or slave controls the relationship itself but that they have the right to terminate the relationship at any time (as does the Dominant) for whatever reason; just as within an vanilla relationships. In addition, the aspect of “control” the submissive has is limited to the right to call their Safeword to stop any interaction they are engaged in with their Master or Mistress which they do not feel they cannot continue to endure. They do not however have the right to dictate the course of the encounters nor the dynamics of the relationship outside of the negotiation phase. To do so would be considered Topping from the Bottom. This is frowned upon and not tolerated by most Dominants. We will discuss the power dynamics further as we continue. Though again, when addressing the issue of control, ultimately the submissive does have a significant degree of control in the relationships as he or she can always say, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Anything less would fall under an abusive relationship and BDSM is not about abuse nor domestic violence. (Note: Vanilla is a term used to differentiate between the D/s dynamics and the average non-BDSM community—basically the world at large.)
To touch briefly upon a deeper aspect of a submissive’s surrender we would step into the concept of “consensual non-consensuality”. There are many diverse opinions as to who would fall under this category and the complete surrender of a submissive and a slave varies greatly as they’re NOT considered the same and therefore one (the submissive) has more “rights” than the other (the slave). Consensual non-consensuality is considered Edge Play and is often engaged in during committed relationships or within a relationship which has already established higher levels of trust. This is where the Master or Mistress will push the submissive beyond their limits helping them to grow in their acceptance and surrender. We will discuss this concept in more depth at a later date in the eCourse
As for setting limits and negotiations of what is acceptable and what implements will be used (ie: paddles, whips, humiliation, sexual contact/penetration, etc.), this is typically conducted with someone you’re just meeting (pick-up play) or are learning to interact with and starting a relationship with. However, there are typically NO negotiations when someone is a slave or property and already belongs to their Master or Mistress. At that point, the Owner decides what’s acceptable and what the slave or submissive will tolerate; which falls into the concept of “consensual non-consensuality”.
This workshop we will cover the basics of BDSM. You will be provided with weekly reading assignments from my book, BDSM The Naked Truth. This workshop will cover only the Basics, Chapter 1 through 6. We’ll address the emotional and psychological connection men and women make; discuss the various levels within the community (as briefly mentioned above); and you’ll be provided with tips on emotional development, personality traits, and much more to help you create and establish your own D/s relationships and scenes. I will also show you how to use the BDSM Checklist discussed in the book (Chapter 10).
Now let’s get started with our first assignment.
Assignment #1
Questions:
Let’s look at what you already know or think in regards to Dominance and submission and the BDSM community. Please answer the questions posed below.
1. Why do you think people want to participate in these sexual and/or painful activities?
2. Is it all about the pain or sex? Do you think there is more to it? Please elaborate.
3. What is it that you want to learn about BDSM and Dominance and submission?
Reading assignment:
Please read Chapters 1 & 2 in the book, BDSM The Naked Truth by
Dr. Charley Ferrer
The book goes in-depth into the material we are covering here and will be an excellent resource. Should you wish to purchase a hard copy of the book, please use the following Coupon to receive a discount of $3.00. This coupon is for eCourse participants only. Please do not share it with friends.
Discount Coupon Code: eCourse
Send your assignment responses and comments to eCourse@doctorcharley.com
Your assignments, questions, and comments will be responded to during normal business hours Monday through Friday. You do not need to wait for a response before moving on to the next lesson.
If you need immediate assistance, please feel free to contact me directly at the number listed below. I am available Monday through Friday 1:00 to 9:00 p.m. EST.
eCourse — BDSM Introduction created by Dr. Charley Ferrer
Lesson #2
Definitions and Personality Traits
In order to navigate the vast ocean and intricate depths of the BDSM lifestyle you need to have a basic comprehension of its rules, participants, boundaries, and yes, even all those fun erotic toys and props/implements used and incorporated in the deliciously erotic sensual interactions. Though I cannot cover every aspects of the lifestyle in this eCourse, I will provide you with the major ones. These definitions and personality traits will assist you in building your understanding in this community.
Please keep in mind that the various roles are interchangeable and can pertain to either a man or a woman, unless they are gender specific such as in the Daddy or Mommy roles. Some characteristic are interchangeable, as in the case of Switches and masochists, as these individuals incorporate more than one aspect of these characteristics in their fundamental core make-up.
You will notice that I tend to refer to men as the submissive in many of my examples. This is based on my own personal preferences and identification as a Dominant woman. I will try to ensure to vary the roles. However, feel free to change the pronouns around to suit your characters.
It’s imperative to remember that the dynamics of Dominant/ Master/Mistress and submissive/slave applies to both heterosexual couples as well as same sex couples. Not all interactions are based on sexual activities. In fact, some are service based only and there is no sexual and at times, no physical contact. It’s also not uncommon for a heterosexual Dominant to own a gay/lesbian slave/submissive.
This lesson covers definitions and personality traits. Understanding what things are called and how individuals identify themselves will help you when traversing the BDSM community. Familiarizing yourself with these definitions and personality traits will give you a peak into the emotional and psychological connections individuals make within the lifestyle and the relationships they form. This will assist you to find your own path allowing you to navigate within the community.
In Lessons 2 and 3, I’ve focused primarily on the three main characters—Dominants, submissives, and switches. I’ve also focused on the more important definitions within the BDSM community that you need to be aware of.
In order to elaborate on the definitions and provide you with the psychological and emotional connections individuals make, I’ve broken down the personality traits each specific individual would exhibit based on:
* the various levels and psychological/emotion connections and identification,
* level of interactions and control they engage in and/or may morph into which makes each aspect/identification different.
Let’s Begin—Definitions & Personality Traits
Vanilla:
Vanilla is the term given to anyone who is not in the BDSM lifestyle. Everyone starts out as vanilla. Then your beans are crushed as you learn and explore and perhaps even embrace whatever amazing facets of emotional and erotic desires feel comfortable for you.
Power Exchange:
The Power Exchange is at the heart of all the interactions shared. This is the fundamental core of the relationship whether from an emotional or physical perspective which two individuals engage in—one giving the other receiving. The Power Exchange can be physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual or merely service oriented. The actual levels of surrender and control/dominance will vary depending on the individuals and what they desire to share with each other and to what degree.
Scene:
This is the name given to the actual interaction between the Dominant and the submissive which is constructed with a specific thought and outcome in mind. A Scene may be elaborate and incorporate various protocols and/or rituals as well as assistance or participation from other parties. It can incorporate various erotic objects to elicit sensations or be sexual in nature or merely emotional. Then again, a scene may be only based on service and not incorporate any sexual overtures. The Scene is whatever the Dominant desires it to be, changing with his/her mood and/or the submissive’s response. A Scene can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours—even a few days.
Play:
The activities shared by two individuals whether Dominant or submissive is often called Play regardless of the actual activity. Thus, Play can be a Flogging, Whipping, using Candle Wax, etc. Play is often not really “play” but merely two individual’s sharing and enjoying themselves. It is more carefree and non-restrictive, depending on the individuals involved. A Play Date is always fun! When the individuals are engaging in more serious interactions, it is called a scene.
Service:
When a submissive or slave is in “service”, they are performing a particular activity for the Dominant or their Master/Mistress. Service can be physical or sexual in nature. Service can be anything from a foot massage to cleaning the Dominant’s house, or it can be a function the slave/submissive performs such as running errands. At times, a particular service has accompanying protocols and/or rituals associated with it. This is all determined before hand by the Dominant.
A Collar:
Though wearing a collar has become a popular accessory worn by teenagers and those into Goth as well as the vanilla public at large, actual collars are a sacred part of the Dominance and submission (D/s) and Master/slave (M/s) relationships. A collar signifies ownership and acceptance. Nowadays with everyone going out and purchasing their own collar, it’s hard to determine who’s a “free” submissive/slave and who’s owned. Typically a locked collar means the submissive/slave is Owned. You’ll see a lock on the back of a collar or you’ll see a tag handing from the loop in the front of the collar which might state, “Property of…”
The color of a collar also holds significance. The Old Guard had many rules concerning color of the collar and levels of service. For example, a light blue collar signifies the person is in-training and under consideration of someone. Therefore, that person is not available for interactions and if you wish to interact with them, you must go through the Dominant/Master that hold’s their leash—the individual the submissive is under consideration with. It is not acceptable in the community to touch anyone that is collared or under consideration/in-training without obtaining permission first.
Black collars used to signify the individual was free and available but over time it become the standard color of choice for the community and both free and owned submissives/slaves use it. Gold and silver collars imply ownership and a permanent relationship. Although not all permanent Master/slave relationships are denoted by these colors. Some Masters/Dominants/Mistress’ will have a collar specially made.
Dominant:
The Giver. This individual is in charge of the relationship. He or She sets the rules, safeguards their partner, administers training and correction as She/He deems appropriate and desirous in their personal relationship. The Dominant also dictates and administers punishment for any violations of the rules and/or transgressions the submissive may be guilty of. He or She is entrusted with the emotional and physical safety of the individual He/She interacts with. The Dominant is responsible for establishing and reinforcing the protocols of the relationship. Dominants have an alpha personality and are used to being in charge both at work and within the relationship. However you don’t need to be in a management position at work to qualify as a Dominant.
Ironically, most dominant males at work are actually submissive at their core and more service oriented women—at work—are dominant at their core. I think this dichotomy shows our societal work norms.
A female Dominant is often called Mistress unless she chooses another title for herself such as Ma’m, Lady So-and-so, Owner, Master, Goddess, etc. Some Dominants merely use their first name. It is a personal choice. When interacting with their Dominant, the slave/submissive will use Ma’m or Sir as honorifics.
There is a small percentage of women who use the title Master instead of Mistress. Personally, I do not like the name Mistress as there is a negative subconscious connection to the word. Also, there is the expectation by some males of sexual favors owed to them and/or the female Dominant having lesser value than the male Dominant. There is also the subconscious belief by some men and women entering the BDSM community that a Dominant woman is nothing more than a pseudo-professional Dominatrix and considered little more than a prostitute as “She is there to serve the submissive”—in essence giving him a “free” BDSM session.
Most romance novels, if not practically all, designate the woman as Mistress or have her slave call her by her given name such as Mistress Stephanie. It’s your story. You choose what you wish to have Her called and by whom.
Proper etiquette dictates that the Dominant is always shown respect even in written form by capitalizing their title (Master/Mistress) and their pronoun. For example: using a capital “M” for Master/Mistress anywhere it appears in the sentence and capitalizing any pronouns which relate to the Dominant such as the “Y” in you when the submissive is referring to them. A written example is: “The chores You requested were performed, Mistress.”
The abbreviated version of Dominant is Dom for men and Domme for women.
Master:
These individuals can be either male or female in gender. The level of control and commitment required from their partner is the key in these relationships. Masters tend to be more disciplined and structured than Dominants. There is a higher level of intensity and mastery associate in these relationships. Also there are standard and individualized protocols and etiquette which dictate the interactions of a Master and His/Her slave. It is more common for a Master to have several slaves dedicated to various tasks in the Master’s home or life than it is a Dominant. Also a Dominant and submissive relationship tend to be more couple based; however there are many Polyamorous households who practice Dominance/submissive principles.
There are also separate community and educational functions specifically geared toward the dynamics of Master/slave relationships which are focused on the development of the Master and of the slave as opposed to the typical BDSM events and community Play Parties. There is also a belief within the community that as you grow in maturity and desire for higher levels of interactions with your submissive, you move from the introduction of BDSM and mere “play” phase, into a Dominant/submissive relationships, and ultimately to a Master/slave relationships.
Although not all D/s relationships move into the more restrictive aspects of Master/slave relationships, even after years of cohesive and positive loving interactions. However if they do, they still may not consider themselves in a Master/slave relationship. The beauty of BDSM is its ambiguous definition thus leaving it to the specific individual couple to create the relationship that works best for them.
Sadist:
Unlike Dominants and Masters, a Sadist is not necessarily interested in the D/s dynamics of the relationship and may have a more equalitarian interaction and relationship with their slave or submissive. Then again they may be even stricter in their rules, protocols and requirements. Regardless, the Sadist is nonetheless in charge of the relationship and the Master of it!
The Sadist enjoys pushing the limits and taking the submissive/slave on a journey of physical, emotional, psychological and/or sexual exploration. The Sadist will often engage in more advanced levels of emotional and physical interactions such as Edge Play. Where a typical Sadist will push against physical limits and endurance, an Emotional Sadist will push against the slave’s fears and emotional issues thriving on Fear Play and Mind Fucks which are the bases of psychological play.
It should be clearly understood that the Sadist is not attempting to injure the submissive/slave in any way yet is merely interacting at a level others may fear to tread. Also the Sadist, at times, will push His/Her own limits when interacting with a slave at various levels and may be emotionally affected by the same. (Think advance statistical evasive Ranger training and/or Special Force psychological training for a somewhat vanilla comparison.)
The Sadist in these interactions is NOT interacting in a pathological manner! (What I call a “criminal sadist”.) There is never an intention to injure the submissive merely to share a part of themselves’, often what they feel is a sacred part of themselves, with another.
Sadists are typically very discerning and selective in their choice of individuals whom they will interact with and to what level. Sadists are extremely committed to the safety and well being of those they interact with. Yes, there are some that aren’t; however, there are idiots and dishonorable individuals in all walks of life. As I mentioned before, in these interactions, there is no pathological behavior as there is no malice intended!
I find Sadists to be more loving and solicitous of their slaves, especially after an intense Scene, ensuring the slave’s physical and emotional well being.
The best vanilla analogy I can use to help you distinguish the difference between a Sadist and a Dominant is: A Dominant needs a “reason” to discipline and punish their submissive/slave—a Sadist merely needs a place.
This Lesson is split into two parts. We will continue with further information in Lesson 3.
Please be sure to read the Chapters assigned below as the book goes in-depth into the material we are covering here and will be an excellent resource for you.
Reading Assignment:
Please read Chapters 3, 4, and 5 in BDSM The Naked Truth by
Dr. Charley Ferrer
eCourse – BDSM Introduction created by Dr. Charley Ferrer
Lesson #3
Definitions and Personality Traits — Part II
This lesson covers definitions and personality traits. Understanding what things are called and how individuals identify themselves will help you when traversing the BDSM community. Understanding these definitions and personality traits will give you a peak into the emotional and psychological connections individuals make within the lifestyle and the relationships they form. This will also help you find your own path allowing you to navigate within the community.
Below I’ve provided in-depth definitions and covered as many of the nuances as possible related to creating your characters. I’ve focused primarily on the three main characters—Dominants, submissives, and switches. I’ve also focused on the more important definitions within the BDSM community that you need to be aware of. For more complete information and definitions, please read Chapter 3 of BDSM The Naked Truth.
In order to elaborate on the definitions and provide you with the psychological and emotional connections individuals make, I’ve broken down the personality traits each specific individual would exhibit based on:
* the various levels and psychological/emotion connections and identification,
* level of interactions and control they engage in and/or may morph into which makes each aspect/identification different.
Let’s Continue—Definitions & Personality Traits Part II
submissive:
The receiver. This individual is the other half of the D/s relationship. He or she follows the rules and is of service to the Dominant. The submissive role is not always sexual in nature. The submissive may be merely providing service to the Dominant in some manner. For example: house cleaner, computer expert services, preparing meals, etc.
It is the submissive’s duty to obey and adhere to the dictates of his/her Master/Mistress. The underlying premise is to be of service. As a submissive, they typically have more liberties than a slave. Whereas one of the major differences between a slave and a submissive is that the submissive is considered a “free” agent and can interact with whomever he or she chooses to until they become the property of another.
Though the submissive may not be used sexually, they may be used physically. There is a belief by some in the community that submissives are not as dedicated as a slave, however, that is an internal debate within the community and at times becomes a matter of internal dedication and semantics as well as level of surrender.
Another major distinction between a submissive and a slave is a submissive has rights and the ability to object to certain activities or requirements and can negotiate some aspects within their relationship—setting limits. Thus in essence the submissive has more liberties within the relationship than a slave.
The best vanilla analogy I can provide you with is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife. More is expected from one than the other and some rules can be broken and forgiven of a girlfriend (submissive) however they would lead to divorce if conducted by the wife (slave). Divorce being the equivalent of dismissal in a D/s relationship.
In written form it is common practice for a submissive to use a lower case “i” when referring to themselves as they consciously reinforce the decision to see themselves as belonging to another and taking a more submissive/subservient role. Also their name is never capitalized. A written example of this is: “Dear Master, i have completed all the tasks You asked of me. Respectfully, joshua.”
Please note, this submissive subservient role does not imply less value but merely a difference in their equality and roles within the relationship. Thus following the example previously given, a wife doesn’t hold less value in a marriage than a husband merely a different one.
Sub is the abbreviation of submissive.
slave:
These individuals can be either male or female. Their entire purpose is to “be of service” to their Master/Mistress and make their Dominant’s life simpler and happier. The slave gives up many of his “rights” (by choice) to allow the Master/Mistress to dictate their interactions and his responsibilities within the relationship. Typically slaves will have set protocols which they are required to maintain in public as well as in private. Transgressions are met with physical and/or emotional consequences.
The major difference between a slave and a submissive is their ability to deny their Master’s dictates. Whereas a submissive may have some say and “veto” privileges within the relationship and/or activity being performed (in the form of limits), a slave does not. Also when interacting in physical and/or sexual activities, the slave has no “rights” to deny what is done or required of him or her. The slave has the Limits their Master has given them.
Within the relationship, the slave has consciously given his/her agreement to participate in current and future “consensual non-consensual” activities and interactions with his/her Master and others designated by the Master/Mistress in either a physical or sexual nature thus becoming a slave in the true sense of the word.
It should be understood that though the slave is objectified at times, it is very well cared for and held in high esteem and deep affection, even loyalty, from the Master/Mistress. The Master takes his or her responsibility to the slave’s physical and emotional well being very seriously and will guard the slave against any harm.
The slave belongs to his or her Master/Mistress!
Typically though someone may consider themselves a slave, their true connection does not manifest itself until they belong and are in a relationship with their Master/Mistress/Dominant. At that point, the slave is no longer allowed to participate nor interact with anyone else without the expressed permission of their Master/Mistress and/or without the Master/Mistress being present during any interactions.
It should be understood that an individual may consider themselves a “slave” but have no Master/Mistress at the moment. The emotional and psychological make-up of a slave is vastly different than that of a submissive. We will address this psychological difference in a later chapter. However, the bottom line is that the fundamental psychological aspect of a slave is to give themselves without reservation because it is in their nature—their very core—to do so, to become enmeshed with their Master/Mistress completely taking their relationship to a deeper more spiritual level.
The proper etiquette for a slave when addressing himself is in the third person. For example: “Master, is it acceptable for Your slave to prepare Your bath?” Or it can follow the submissive’s format: “After i go to the grocery store i will clean Your home.”
Masochist:
A masochist is an individual who enjoys the more physical aspects of BDSM. He or she will engage in more physically demanding interactions and Edge Play activities. Masochists enjoy riding the waves of pleasure that pain produces in their body. For them, the pain they experience at the hand of their Master/Mistress is an intensely emotional connection as well as a higher level of surrender. Most masochists will not use a Safeword as they will allow their Mistress/Master to choose for them when the experience will be over. This level of surrender reinforces their interaction and is often their way of overcoming their fears of the activity or reaching a higher level of consciousness through the acceptance of pain. (This concept of achieving a spiritual connection with the self or another has been in many of our religious beliefs and a major component of Christianity; remember the common practice of Priests to reach divinity by self flagellation. Or the belief that to “suffer” is a way to reach God.)
A rare subgroup of men and women are what is sometimes called an Emotional Masochist. These individuals thrive on emotional pain and fear. Not all masochists are able to dabble in this realm.
Though most masochists are submissive or slave, it would be erroneous to classify them all as such. Some masochists have alpha personalities and are very dominant in their own right much like the sexual submissives. Thus, these masochists enjoy pitting themselves against their own fears using the Dominant as their catalyst for this purpose; others merely enjoy the endorphin rush they can experience through pain. There is also the ability, as mentioned before, of working through an “emotion—guilt, shame, etc” and using pain as the cleanser. In this instance, the masochist is using the Dominant as a gateway to overcoming or achieving his goal.
Some Dominants may have masochistic tendencies but not submissive ones as in a Sadomasochistic personality. This is someone who enjoys the edgier/darker aspects of being used physically and/or sexually however has no submissive desires. For example: The Dominant may enjoy feeling and giving pain however he/she would never kneel before a submissive and beg nor would they be of “service” to the submissive. These Sadomasochistic individuals may also enjoy allowing their submissive to feel empowered by engaging in rough sex however at the end of the day, it is the Dominant who will say how much and when this type of play is over. A deviously Sadomasochistic may even lovingly make their submissive pay for their rough treatment of their Master at a later time reinforcing the power dynamics.
A masochist is considered either a submissive or slave and treated accordingly. In writing they would use the lower case “i”.
Switch:
This individual incorporates various aspects of both a dominant and submissive personality. They enjoy both aspects of the Power Exchange though their personality typically falls more into one side of the spectrum than the other. Within the community, Switches aren’t always seen in a positive light and some believe them to be merely submissives wanting to dabble in Dominant ways or merely someone who wants to “play” at and is not serious about their lifestyle choices. However the other belief is that as a Switch they are able to experience both aspects of the lifestyle though not as intensely as those who identify as one role or the other. For example, you can sympathize with a woman about what it’s like to give birth, however, unless you experienced it, you can’t completely understand the emotional dynamics associated with it.
It’s not uncommon for someone new to the lifestyle to identify as a Switch as they are unsure where they belong. Many Switches start out/are considered Service Tops as they are performing a “service” for another individual and their relationship or dominance over that individual ends when the Scene is over. A Switch would never be considered a Master
Some men new to the BDSM lifestyle will identify as Switch since they feel guilt or shame associate with the stigma of being a submissive man in society. Submissive men often have to combat their own prejudices and those of their counterparts—Dominant men—who may look down upon them for their submission and not consider them “macho” enough. Also, it should be understood that some straight men will accept control and offer service to Dominant men limiting their interactions to physical interactions and not sexual ones.
As for written etiquette, Switches follow common capitalization sentence structure although they can choose their own preference. Though I’ve often seen them use the lower case “i” when referring to themselves; thus, internally identifying as a submissive.
Sexual submissive:
Though not all submissives or slaves are used sexually, the sexual submissive’s primary purpose is sexual interactions and sexual use by his/her Mistress/Master. However, whereas a submissive will defer the leadership role to their Dominant or be subservient to his/her Master/Mistress in all areas of the relationship, this rule/dynamic is not true of the sexual submissive.
The sexual submissive is typically very dominant in his/her own right and often has an alpha personality in all areas of their lives and only relinquishes control in sexual matters and within “the bedroom”. Outside the amorous interactions, this individual is very opinionated and focused in what they want and will share with their partner and within their relationship.
The sexual submissive may also have very high masochistic tendencies yet again, not necessarily submissive one’s outside the sexual realm. The easiest example I can provide of this is the general who goes out and leads his men into battle than gladly surrenders to his lover. Once again taking control of his life after that particular interaction is over. He/she can allow their lover/partner to take the lead in the relationship however theirs will be more of an equalitarian union that the typical D/s relationship.
As you can see, the psychological make-up of individuals in the BDSM and D/s lifestyle is complicated and unique. I hope that as you create your characters, you will breathe this uniqueness into them.
Assignment:
Complete your previous reading assignment.
eCourse — BDSM Introduction created by Dr. Charley Ferrer
Lesson #4 — The Dominant
Personality Traits and Character Development
This lesson will cover the typical nuances of a Dominant. These are merely the most common not all of the possible character traits of a Dominant or a Sadist. To cover them all, I would have to write a fifty page essay. smiles
Unlike popular misconceptions perpetuated by bad BDSM movies and books, Dominants aren’t the unfeeling emotionally distant bastards who greedily demand tremendous feats of submission from their submissives only to neglect their efforts of service and toss a few gratuitous comments of appreciation here and there. Neither do they yell and scream at their submissives to get them motivated like the Drill Sergeants in the old war movies or an overzealous aerobics instructor. If you stop to think about it, anyone who has to yell and scream is actually showing a lack of control!
In the realm of Dominance and submissive, lack of control indicates inability to take command of a situation and doesn’t foster trust or confidence. Typically only an inexperienced submissive would accept such behavior from their Dominant unless yelling and screaming was actually “part of” a scene they were specifically engaged in and/or forms of play they created together.
Another misconception is the idea that a confident Dominant would circle around trying to pick up a submissive jumping from one to the other at a gathering hoping someone would play with them. Yes, I have seen several men and women do this, however it actually looks really pathetic. One male Dominant I’ve seen for years at a club I frequented dragged his little bag of toys back and forth (on rollers) hoping to find someone to play with that night. The really sad part about this was he looked so needy and pathetic no one ever took him seriously. Some Dominants, typically males, will circle like a shark waiting for a newbie they could spank.
Then there are the confident Dominants who carry on their conversations with friends keeping an eye out for submissives of quality observing them from afar and nodding to them in acknowledgement, letting the submissive come to them. This confident Dominant would complete their conversation, then call the submissive to them, or continue observing the submissive quietly, taking their measure and awaiting another day to approach them.
It should be understood that not all interactions with a Dominant will be physical and definitely not sexual. Some Dominants are interested in submissives merely for their ability to provide good service such as performing household chores, running errands, providing service in the form of accounting for instance or some other specialized skills. It is the service that then becomes the basis of the interaction between these two individuals.
My favorite misconception is the fact that you have to dress in leather or a slinky outfit in order to dominate another. The truth is, if you can’t dominate a person in fufu slippers, jeans, and a tee-shirt with no make-up on, you couldn’t dominate them in full leather regalia looking flawless. Though you my look better in leather, it doesn’t immediately give you super dominant powers or a burst of confidence. Nor does the leather help improve your skills at Flogging and throwing a Whip. Not to mention, cheap leather squeaks and good leather is really expensive!
Just for the record, throwing a Whip around in 3-inch heels is a pain in the ass (let alone 4 or 5 inch heels) especially when you bend down low to crack it against the slave’s buttocks or back of his thighs and calves. Have you ever bent low in heels (not from the waist but actually bending your knees and going low) then tried to get up again without wobbling or worse yet, falling over? Imagine bending low repeatedly as you caress your slave’s body with the Whip or a Flogger. No one stands in one place with perfect balance when using any BDSM Toy. That would be like trying to kiss without moving your lips. And though we can all run in heels every now and then, a good scene can last anywhere from 30 minutes to a few hours. That’s hell on your feet if you’re in heels.
I don’t know about you, but I refuse to wobble about in heels. I value foot comfort. Yet even more than that, imagine how stupid you’d feel if you tipped over and fall on your butt while trying to Whip someone—especially if it happened in public.
It’s important to notice the tone of voice the Dominant uses and when. A stern voice can be used to reprimand a disobedient slave. There’s no yelling and screaming involved just a very firm tone. Some Dominants use a softer more pleasant even sensual tone with their submissives luring them into their web. It’s the softer tone a Sadist takes with a submissive that scares them the most as the slave realizes that with a Sadist, it is when the Sadist is most quiet and thoughtful that they are creating the most physically torturous scenarios, calmly reaching for and embracing that sadistic side of themselves which they normally keep tightly leashed.
A major psychological difference between a Sadist and a Dominant is the fact that Sadists are turned on by inflicting physical pain and mental or emotional stress, much more so than a Dominant and thus taking interactions to a higher emotional and physical level of torment. And though most Dominants enjoy inflicting some levels of pain to their submissives or slaves, whether through use of a Flogger, a Spanking, a Whip or hundreds of various toys, Sadists create an intensity that would make your typical Dominant cautious. It is the sadism itself which creates a sense of rightness and peace within the Sadist’s mind and body.
Much like the submissive who experiences a rush of endorphins as their body registers pain, a Sadist will experience a rush of adrenaline which heightens their desire. Thus a Sadist engaging with a masochist creates a synergistic symbiotic connection between them wherein each receives what they desire. No, the slave doesn’t necessarily have to be a masochist, the slave/submissive may simply accept the intensity because of their desire to please the Sadist.
Note: A Dominant male is NEVER referred to as an “alpha male” in the BDSM community. An “alpha male” is a submissive man with a strong personality. Though this title is often used in romance novels, it is in fact an incorrect terminology in the D/s community
This lesson plan includes an excerpt from my book, BDSM The Naked Truth.
eCourse — BDSM Introduction was created by Dr. Charley Ferrer
Lesson 5 – The Submissive
Personality Traits & Character Development
There’s a popular saying in the BDSM community that it’s harder to kneel than it is to stand and it takes more courage to be vulnerable than it does to control another. This is never more true than with a male submissive who is going against societal norms by surrendering to another—especially to a woman. He is often viewed as less masculine or macho and the Dominant woman is accused of emasculating him. Yet, nothing is further from the truth!
In actuality, a submissive man can be more dangerous than a dominant one especially when his Mistress or Master is threatened. Think of it as the Knight who went off to battle and chopped the heads off his enemy than meekly knelt before his Lady disheartened when she was upset with him. The submissive male doesn’t stop being a macho man; he actually embraces all aspects of his nature making him stronger or confident.
It is the fear of being ostracized by other men and fear of embracing their desire for submission that leads most men to identify as dominant when first entering the BDSM community. It is not until they feel comfortable within the community and with themselves that these submissive men will surrender their need to hide behind the façade of the dominant male.
It is unfortunate that the submissive man’s courage is often despised or openly ridiculed by Dominant men who make no qualms about putting the submissive man down or showing their disdain. However these same Dominant men think nothing wrong with a woman being submissive. I believe this opposition is caused by the Dominant man’s own internal fear of being seen as weak. Ironically, it’s not uncommon for that same Dominant man to swear a Dominant woman to secrecy about his desire to be submissive to “just her” and only “in private”.
For some slaves, the ability to serve is what brings peace to their lives. It is the feeling of total acceptance and acknowledgement they strive to gain in their lives and show their appreciation by working to the best of their ability giving 150% every time, even anticipating the needs of their Master or Mistress. These slaves will even correct their own behavior before it needs to be addressed by their owner. These types of slaves are a treasure to have and are well guarded once found.
As for a submissive woman, she’s able to embrace the more feminine side of her nature as well as her desire to cater to her Dominant/Master/Mistress. She is able to give freely of herself knowing her efforts and service will be greatly appreciated. In this era when feminist ideals often battle with submissive desires, a female slave may find herself ostracized by her feminist friends for what they perceive as her subservient desires or she may receive a lot of undue objections for being of service to her Dominant as she dutifully performs her tasks of being the attentive “wife” or partner. Of course, men also fall prey to these objections from their friends who will deem him “whipped”. If they only knew how true it was!
Though the outside world may think a submissive suffers from little to no self- esteem or lack of personal power, the truth is far from it. In a way, submissive individuals are actually reclaiming their power and sharing it with others.
To dispel some rampant misconceptions: not every slave or submissive is a doormat! Many are very strong, even dominant in their everyday vanilla interactions. Most are in charge or supervise others and enjoy the ability to release their responsibilities and surrender to another individual they feel safe with.
The need for release is strong in both men and women and though not all interactions with their dominant are sexual in nature, I find that submissive women are used sexually more so than their male counterparts. This may be due to the physical dominance a woman excerpts over a man ensuring that he realizes that even his manhood belongs to Her and She’ll use it when and as She desires. Also where male Dominants are more comfortable being sexual in public, female Dominants will limit sexual interactions in public.
As for sexual play, many female Dominants will save the more intimate aspects of their interactions with their partner for private times. Not only due to their sexual desires but because having to get in and out of their outfits is a bit more difficult. With submissive women, it’s not uncommon and perfectly normal for them to be seen in the nude and be forced to orgasm in public or perform Fellacio on their Dominant in public.
For the sexual submissives, their desire to serve and be vulnerable is based solely on their sexual needs and that is where their submission ends as in all other aspects of their lives and their interactions with their Dominant they are on equal footing and may even be dominant themselves.
At times, you will have two Dominants who interact with each other successfully because of the fact that one is a sexual submissive and therefore can give that aspect of themselves to the other. You may find that in these types of relationships, the couple may engage a third party they share as the submissive to one or both of them.
Submissives adhere to the requirements of their Dominant! Every Dominant has their own requirements and protocols. Some will impose eye contact restrictions; prescribe a dress code, as well as specific protocols and rituals as to how the submissive will greet them when arriving for a Play Scene or when they arrive home if they live together. These rituals and protocols reinforce the connection between the couples and are paramount to the relationship. They provide a sense of belonging and acceptance, even safety, for both.
For those submissives who are masochistic in nature, you may find that they tend to push and challenge their Dominants to receive more physical interactions. This push may not be a conscious behavior on their part. However it is their physical, emotional and even spiritual need to connect at that level of release and service to their Dominant that pushes them to tease and bring forth the Beast within their Dominant; a harsher more sadistic aspect of the Dominant’s psyche.
A masochist whose needs aren’t being met will often act out becoming rude, even disrespectful, in hopes of being corrected and punished for his behavior. This should be avoided. You can dismiss the masochist for the night, tie him or her up and leave them there, play with another submissive or slave before them (to show them what they’re missing because of their inappropriate behavior, etc.). Giving in to bad behavior is like giving in to a child throwing a tantrum…it just perpetuates the inappropriateness. This is also a good time to set rules and boundaries with the slave/sub or realize that this is not the type of slave you desire and dismiss him or her all together.
Please note, these are not ALL the character traits of a submissive or slave, however they are the most common. You’d be reading a fifty page explanation on slave/sub characteristics if I tried to cover them all. (smiles) However, this information will provide you with great insight and establish a foundation from which to build on. My book, BDSM The Naked Truth provides more in-depth information and details. read Chapters 4 & 5.
Please feel free to ask any questions you may have on submissives/slaves behaviors and mentality.
This lesson plan includes excerpts from my book, BDSM The Naked Truth.
Reading Assignment:
Read Chapters 4 & 5
eCourse — BDSM Introduction created by Dr. Charley Ferrer
Lesson 6
Oh those deliciously wicked things we do!
Now that we’ve discussed the fundamentals and the psychological aspects of Dominance and submission, let’s put it all together to discover the emotional connections associated with all those deliciously wicked and sinfully erotic activities.
The essential thing to keep in mind when dealing with BDSM is to allow yourself to become what I like to call the Sensual Scientist. This is where you explore the mind—body connection. From the Dominant’s perspective it’s about allowing them to explore and derive sensual and sexual pleasure from what they do to their slave; thus exploring the physical and sexual aspects of control as well as pleasure and pain. From the submissive perspective, it’s about being of service and letting go of their inhibitions and fears in order to be vulnerable to and with another, surrendering all they are.
Here’s another way to look at the dynamics of a D/s relationship. Imagine for a moment that the dominant is the ocean and the submissive is a sail boat; what amazing things they will experience together as they take their journey. The various storms along the way. The amazing silence that brings peace to the soul. Even all the creatures they’ll discover along their path, both big and small—adventures both frightening and inspiring. Though it may not always be smooth sailing, it will be a new exploration of the core self each time as the individuals learn something new about themselves and each other.
Another thing to keep in mind is the feeling of vulnerability which the person experiences based on arm placement and their inability to move about. For example, having your arms tied behind your back will provide one sensation while having them tied over your head will bring another. It goes without saying that having a submissive’s arms tied behind their back and then incorporating their feet (like being hog-tied) will increase the submissive’s level of vulnerability. However, this position will interfere and limit which areas of the body will be available for the Dominant. For example, you wouldn’t be able to use the slave’s buttocks, yet their genital would be exposed.
Keep in mind that it’s not only the feelings and internal connections made which push the individual into subspace or Domspace, it’s viewing themselves in that position even imagining what onlookers might see which pushes them over the edge. Remember that the mind drives the body. It is the seduction and capture of the mind that will tumble the person into the mindset of surrender or dominance; even the seduction and enticement to accept more pain.
To give you a taste of what this feels like please play along with me for a moment and notice the different sensations you experience in each possibility I provide. Notice for yourself what feels comfortable, what feels threatening, what makes you sigh with boredom and what rives you up. Of course, your submissive doesn’t have to be physically tied. The ultimate surrender comes when the Dominant mentally bind the submissive, not needing ropes or restraints because the submissive knows that their surrender would please their Master/Mistress—thus in essence their desire to serve becomes the rope that binds them.
For each example, hold the position for at least two to three minutes. Use an hourglass or loud egg timer to keep track of time. This will help you get the psychological feel as well as the physical. Become the Sensual Scientist as you take notice of your heart rate, your breathing, whether you quickly jumped from one activity to the next or whether you lingered in one more so than the other. Is there anticipation? Excitement? Nervousness? Embarrassment? Notice for yourself if you enjoyed the position or if your mind was busy thinking of different things you could do or done in each position. This is just step one of all the various ways you can add to the mental and physical aspects of Dominance and submission and Power Exchange interactions.
Exercise #1
Stand up and place your hands at the small of your back. Right palm over left. Fingers flat. Thumbs touching. Press your shoulders back and stand up straight and proud. Your eyes should be straight ahead. If someone is standing before you, you should not make eye contact. Correct yourself every time you do. If you’re alone, place an object (like a statue) before you to represent a person; notice how often your eyes involuntarily drift to it.
Exercise #2
Place your hands behind your neck, pushing your elbows out so they are parallel to your shoulders. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart. Again use the eye contract restriction unless the other person instructs you to look at them. You may find that the eye contact restriction allows you to distance yourself a bit from the experience however making that eye contact could make you feel a bit giddy, nervous, shy, embarrassed, exhilarated, etc.
Exercise #3
Place your hands over your head, extending them upward as if they were tied to the ceiling, with your wrists together. Legs spread shoulder width apart. It’ll amaze you to realize that if you spread your feet another two to three inches apart, the feeling of vulnerability will increase. And yet, notice that nothing new has been added. You’re in the same position as before. Now close your eyes and let your head fall back. Don’t forget to breathe. (Something a Dominant is often reminding a submissive to do. Funny how they forget to do that. It’s a normal human habit to hold your breath when excited or in nervous anticipation.)
Now to up the anty:
If you originally perform these exercises alone, try them with someone instructing you to do them. Note the difference and the vulnerability factor associated with each. If you really want to get a gold star in your Sensual Scientist role, explore the difference between a man providing instructions as opposed to a woman providing them. You will notice the dynamics will shift. Take note of which activities you bucked against and which you accepted easily.
Once you’ve taken instruction (been the submissive), take control—be the Dominant! Have a friend or lover perform these tasks for you. Exploring both sides of these exercises will help you analyze the internal connections you feel.
Remember to notice your reactions. Your breathing. Your body. Are your hands sweating? Are you cold? Notice your thoughts even though you are just doing these simple exercises to get a feel for what you might experience with another. Are you finding yourself trying to distance yourself emotionally from the sensations of vulnerability? Are you telling yourself, “This is silly” or are you becoming excited allowing your mind to wonder what could happen next? Have you slipped into the Dominant role and started to think about all those deliciously wicked things you can do to another person in each position?
Give yourself permission to experience everything. Later you can analyze it and rehash all the nuances and reflect on all those feelings you experienced.
Even not feeling “anything” is significant!
This lesson plan includes excerpts from my book, BDSM The Naked Truth.
eCourse — BDSM Introduction was created by Dr. Charley Ferrer
Lesson 7
BDSM Checklist
Though in general a BDSM Checklist is often completed only by the slave or submissive to allow the Dominant to assess the slave’s experience and willingness to explore, I believe that the Dominant should also complete their own list as it’s important for the one that yields the Whip to know their own limits.
There are dozens of BDSM Checklists available on the Internet. Below I have created a simple version of one just for you. I’ve split the list into what the submissive (or Dominant) has done and what he or she would like to experience. Once the submissive reveals this information, it’s a matter of determining desires, limits, and whether they’d like to give up total control or be Forced into doing so. Also, it’s important to remember that modifications will play a major role in whether a person will accept an activity or not. For example, someone might accept a spanking with an opened hand but not with an instrument. And of course, those things the slave/sub hates are always a sinfully wicked activity to use when you need to Punish the slave/submissive or you desire to reinforce the Dominant’s Ownership.
Force is a major turn-on! What a slave/submissive won’t do willingly by choice they may do if required or forced to do so by their Master or Mistress. It’s that little voice inside saying, “I had no choice in the matter, my Master — my Mistress–forced me to…”. This literally (mentally and emotionally) creates a free pass for the individual to be naughty—slutty—a whore!
The use of force gives the slave/sub the ability to overcome their bias, fears, and societal norms and surrender completely. It’s like saying, “The Devil made me do it.” And we all know that makes being “bad” deliciously sweeter. Plus, it’s a wonderful excuse…isn’t it?
Please note, when I refer to force in this context, I am in no way suggesting the slave/submissive would desire an unknown assailant to force them into conducting or participating in any of these activities. This would be a crime! I am specifically referring to a trusted Master or Mistress whom the submissive/slave knows and trusts and therefore the submissive would be willing to experience the more frightening activities from a consensual standpoint.
I’ve broken down the BDSM Checklist into various types of activities, to include not only what they’ve experienced and what they’d like to experience but also the various categories of activities which include: service, physical, sexual, and Edge Play. (I’ve given the top three examples of each for this lesson; a complete list can be found in my book, BDSM The Naked Truth.)
Each activity can be further broken down into specifics. For example: service can be alone or with others present; for the Master or for someone designated by the Master; in uniform or naked. Sex can be further broken down by using protection such as condoms, with designated individuals, with strangers, as well as in public or private. Remember, that the individual may be willing to behave a certain way in private surrendering to their Master or Mistress, however, in public the individual would buck at such interactions. Feel free to make your own additions to this list.
Rating:
1. Love it
2. Hate it
3. Want to try
4. It’s okay — Take it/Leave it
5. Force (will accept if desired or forced by their Master or Mistress)
6. Need Modifications (Explain)
7. Never/again—Hard Limit
a. Have Experienced
b. Want to Experience
Service: Maid/butler, kneeling, foot worship.
Physical: Bondage, flogging, Whipping
Sexual: Orgasmic control, oral sex, anal sex, penetration
Edge Play: Fire Play, Knife Play, Breathe Play
As you notice what the slave has done or wishes to experience, you will learn their experience level, their comfort zone, and whether they desire to go further or are happy to be in the softer–lighter aspects of BDSM. Remember, you don’t have to be physical nor sexual to engage in D/s activities. Dominance and submission can be completely focused on service. The choice is yours!
This lesson plan includes excerpts from my book, BDSM The Naked Truth.
Reading Assignment:
Read Chapter 10.
Sign up for my Newsletter to receive a FREE PDF copy of the BDSM Checklist which you can download and print. Feel free to add additional play scenes and ideas to the list.
eCourse — BDSM Introduction was created by Dr. Charley Ferrer
Lesson 8
Parting is such sweet sorrow
Think back to when you first began this eCourse. Do you remember the three questions I asked you? Consider for a moment how your opinion has changed about the men and women in this lifestyle; and about your own feelings as they relate to your own participation and comfort. Has your opinion drastically changed? Take a moment to compare your answers.
* Why do you think people want to participate in these sexual and/or painful activities?
* Is it all about the pain or sex? Do you think there is more to it? Please elaborate.
* What is it that you want to learn about BDSM and Dominance & submission?
As you’ve come to realize, the world of Dominance and submission is much more complex and diverse than portrayed in movies and books. Through this eCourse you’ve learn many of its nuances. I hope you continue to learn about Dominance and submission and continue on to Part II of this eCourse, BDSM Advanced.
If you are interested in receiving personal one-on-one instructions, please contact me to schedule an appointment. I provide private Mentorship Programs with a six to twelve months duration. Due to the intensive work and personal growth involved in this intensive Mentorship Program, only serious applicants are considered.
Trying to go it alone in the BDSM world often leaves you confused, fluttered, and can be very dangerous. Having an experienced Mentor will set you on your personal journey to self-acceptance and spiritual growth. Personal Mentorship addresses:
* your personal preference
* psychological, emotional and spiritual aspects of BDSM
* ways to maintain and create safety while learning the ropes of interacting with others regardless of whether you are Dominant or submissive
* ways to establish your own support systems
* lessons on BDSM toys and their use
* in-depth ways to intensify the psychological connections of subspace or Domspace when interacting with others or with yourself
* much more.
Reading Assignment:
In this eCourse, we only addressed the basics; Chapters 1 through 6 and Chapter 10, The BDSM Checklist. The eCourse BDSM Advanced will cover the rest of the chapters and more advanced aspects of Dominance and submission such as:
* the reasons why Protocols and Rituals are so important
* how to train a slave
* humiliation and tailoring it to men or women
* various forms of BDSM interactions including Edge Play
* and more…
Feel free to read the rest of the chapters in BDSM The Naked Truth on your own if you are not continuing to eCourse BDSM Advanced.
You are welcomed to ask questions and share your experiences on anything covered in this eCourse. If you have any further questions pertaining to this eCourse, please feel free to ask.
Please take a moment to complete and return the evaluation on this eCourse. Your comments will assist me in creating other eCourses which will be of benefit to you and others.
Thank you for participating in this eCourse!
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All information in this eCourse is the intellectual property of Dr. Charley Ferrer. No portion of this eCourse can be used or forwarded to others without the expressed written permission from Dr. Charley Ferrer.