Lesson #7
BDSM Checklist
Though in general a BDSM Checklist is often completed only by the slave or submissive to allow the Dominant to assess the slave’s experience and willingness to explore, I believe that the Dominant should also complete their own list as it’s important for the one that yields the Whip to know their own limits.
There are dozens of BDSM Checklists available on the Internet. Below I have created a simple version of one just for you. I’ve split the list into what the submissive (or Dominant) has done and what he or she would like to experience. Once the submissive reveals this information, it’s a matter of determining desires, limits, and whether they’d like to give up total control or be Forced into doing so. Also, it’s important to remember that modifications will play a major role in whether a person will accept an activity or not. For example, someone might accept a spanking with an opened hand but not with an instrument. And of course, those things the slave/sub hates are always a sinfully wicked activity to use when you need to Punish the slave/submissive or you desire to reinforce the Dominant’s Ownership.
Force is a major turn-on! What a slave/submissive won’t do willingly by choice they may do if required or forced to do so by their Master or Mistress. It’s that little voice inside saying, “I had no choice in the matter, my Master — my Mistress–forced me to…”. This literally (mentally and emotionally) creates a free pass for the individual to be naughty—slutty—a whore!
The use of force gives the slave/sub the ability to overcome their bias, fears, and societal norms and surrender completely. It’s like saying, “The Devil made me do it.” And we all know that makes being “bad” deliciously sweeter. Plus, it’s a wonderful excuse…isn’t it?
Please note, when I refer to force in this context, I am in no way suggesting the slave/submissive would desire an unknown assailant to force them into conducting or participating in any of these activities. This would be a crime! I am specifically referring to a trusted Master or Mistress whom the submissive/slave knows and trusts and therefore the submissive would be willing to experience the more frightening activities from a consensual standpoint.
I’ve broken down the BDSM Checklist into various types of activities, to include not only what they’ve experienced and what they’d like to experience but also the various categories of activities which include: service, physical, sexual, and Edge Play. (I’ve given the top three examples of each for this lesson; a complete list can be found in my book, BDSM The Naked Truth.)
Each activity can be further broken down into specifics. For example: service can be alone or with others present; for the Master or for someone designated by the Master; in uniform or naked. Sex can be further broken down by using protection such as condoms, with designated individuals, with strangers, as well as in public or private. Remember, that the individual may be willing to behave a certain way in private surrendering to their Master or Mistress, however, in public the individual would buck at such interactions. Feel free to make your own additions to this list.
Rating:
1. Love it
2. Hate it
3. Want to try
4. It’s okay — Take it/Leave it
5. Force (will accept if desired or forced by their Master or Mistress)
6. Need Modifications (Explain)
7. Never/again—Hard Limit
a. Have Experienced
b. Want to Experience
Service: Maid/butler, kneeling, foot worship.
Physical: Bondage, flogging, Whipping
Sexual: Orgasmic control, oral sex, anal sex, penetration
Edge Play: Fire Play, Knife Play, Breathe Play
As you notice what the slave has done or wishes to experience, you will learn their experience level, their comfort zone, and whether they desire to go further or are happy to be in the softer–lighter aspects of BDSM. Remember, you don’t have to be physical nor sexual to engage in D/s activities. Dominance and submission can be completely focused on service. The choice is yours!
This lesson plan includes excerpts from my book, BDSM The Naked Truth.
Reading Assignment:
Read Chapter 10.
Sign up for my Newsletter to receive a FREE PDF copy of the BDSM Checklist which you can download and print. Feel free to add additional play scenes and ideas to the list.
Feel free to ask questions and share your experiences. Be sure to ask any questions you may have based on the material covered thus far.
Send your assignment responses and comments to eCourse@doctorcharley.com
Your assignments, questions, and comments will be reviewed and responded to within normal business hours Monday through Friday. You do not need to wait for a response before moving on to the next lesson.
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